All my life I have been overweight. All my life I have loved food. All my life I have yo-yo dieted. I am addicted to chocolate, savoury, spicy, salty, fatty, sweet, I just love food. At my heaviest I looked like an overweight wrestler, I looked hard because I was stressed, I was stressed because I was fat, I ate because I was stressed. It was a terrible spiral that sometimes I could see no way out of. Seven years ago I decided in desperation to pay to have a gastric band fitted. The answer to my prayers! Or so I thought!
The problem was not the size of my stomach or the amount I could eat, it was my relationship with food. My secret eating, bingeing, obsessions, I couldn’t get my head around ‘food is fuel’, instead food was my life. In a way it still is but I have learnt that overeating makes me uncomfortable, depressed, stressed and the subsequent beating myself up is pointless.
After 18 months trying to work with my gastric band and being restricted I rebelled against it and I gave up. I was still miserable and only lost just over a stone. I had all the restriction taken out and I could eat as much as I did before, the only difference was I didn’t vomit! I then fell back on the gaining losing cycle until one day I realised at that it was my head and my relationship with food that was the problem and if I could resolve that I could find a way forward
Joining Slimming World was a massive breakthrough. I found a group that welcomed me, was warm and friendly, didn’t judge and supported me when I needed it most. Most of all the group didn’t perceive themselves to be perfect! I lost weight week after week at first – 17 weeks, 17 losses, then the holiday came and I had my first gain and I have hovered around the same weight since. Life events take us on a detour. I lost my dad, our dog passed suddenly and we had three holidays. I no longer worry about losing weight , I am just mindful I am not going back to where I started! Slimming World is my foundation. All my meals that I cook can be eaten on the plan. I am a bit of a nibbler, but I am working on it. My instagram page has really taken off. I wake every day and cannot believe I have so many like minded kind followers and it has become my hobby. Who would have thought that food – that was my enemy has become my best friend and given me a wonderful pass time where I can cook, share, learn, review, help, inspire….I am truly grateful!
I now have strategies in place. I know my weak times and do other things such as if I feel like I am going to have an eating splurge late in the evening I go to bed. I have fortunately never got into getting up out of bed to eat!
The last two years I have learnt control. I have discovered that I am happier in control of what I eat than when I am spiralling out of control and binge eating. I have never just wanted ‘a little taste’ of something I like. I have eaten it until it no longer holds the same urge to taste it! I don’t buy ‘one of..’ I buy three or four ‘just in case’
I am a work in progress and always will be. I will never lose my fascination and obsessions over food, I can just control it better. I fall off plan, I get back on pretty rapidly now. It’s become a habit.
I do love cooking and creating new dishes, some work and some don’t but that’s how you create, learn and inspire. Slimming World IS a lifestyle and I love it!